Unlocking the secrets of childhood

Emotions, friends and play are all crucial parts of our journey towards adulthood

Before filming the Channel 4 series The Secret Life of 4, 5 and 6 year olds I'd never imagined what following a young child through their day would feel like. It was wonderful to have the chance to listen to each child and follow the stories of their day. I thought I'd get absorbed by the science, but I kept getting pulled into the drama and being surprised by what we were observing. In the Science Room we were supposed to be witnessing events objectively, but things often got a bit emotional. Here are some things we witnessed: 

Intensity

Listening to every conversation and watching kids at eye level helps you share their highs and lows - and all the drama and emotions flow very rapidly. You really feel the outrage, dejection, and often confusion, when they get isolated or rejected, and their joy when they turn things around. The range of emotions in a single day is staggering.

Assertiveness   

There's loads of data on the potential negative effects of children's aggression. Children need to be able to control the occasional impulse to hit out - not just for the sake of the victim but also to avoid refection by their own friends. But I was fascinated to see the positive effects of being assertive - such as hanging on to your toys when someone is trying to grab them, or ensuring that opinions are heard. It's sometimes a thin but very important line between assertiveness and aggression, though sometimes being pushy without being intimidating can make you more popular (and you lose fewer toys!)

Friendships 

Theory of mind (seeing someone else's perspective) is important for making friends. You need to understand how others think and feel. But I was struck by how children's early friendships are also influenced by more basic skills, such as resisting impulses and regulating emotions. I saw countless peer relationships being jeopardized by too much upset after a disappointment or too much celebrating and joy after a win.

Need for peers 

I was fascinated by the extent to which young children receive lessons from each other - sometimes with one child consciously playing the role of teacher. Apart from practising basic social skills and cognitive function, the right sorts of contact with peers can challenge and help develop a whole range of "higher" abilities that include creativity, cultural knowledge and moral judgements. Children need other children as they offer challenges and opportunities for exciting types of play and learning, and balanced social relationships that we adults simply can't provide.

Play and learning 

I was surprised to see the degree of challenge children seek in their play - getting more and more friends involved with their fantasy and borrowing ideas from the adult world. They're often working at their limits and they love it. This combination of of learning and fun is such a wonderful thing to observe - it's left me feeling we have to get the fun back into learning for older children, too, which is where my research is heading now. Having taken part in this documentary series, I am now leading Sci-napse, a project which aims to deliver secondary school science education through games because I feel, more than ever, that learning really can be fun.