티스토리 뷰
Often our relationships with our teachers, friends and people we date mimic those we had when we were young
I am a 14-year-old girl, and I want to be a dancer when I'm older. I feel as if have an attachment to my dance teacher at school: we have a really good bond and I talk to her often about personal issues.
When I notice other people talking closely with her, emotions are triggered that affect me badly. (I suffered with depression last year; this mood isn't constant in the same way, but feels similar in the short term.) Its sounds overdramatic, but it's something I can't control. I l know she's just my teacher and that there's no good reason I should feel like this when she appears close with other students, but it seems to be affecting me more and more, and I'm unsure what to do.
Often our relationships with our teachers, friends and people we date mimic those we had when we were young. If you weren't given enough undivided attention when you really needed it, you can bring that into future dynamics.
The good news is, you can move on in a number of ways, and through a number of relationships. Could you get one-on-one tutorials with this teacher? Could you ask a friend to spend a certain day a week with you, regularly, one-on-one? Or simply ask someone to listen to you wholeheartedly for an hour or even an afternoon?
I share what sounds like the need you have for undivided connection time. I notice that when I get plenty of it, I no longer mind so much the times when I get a little less than I need. Another way I address this is to make sure I spend time alone, which allows me to see that often what I really need is undivided attention from myself.
This can take the focus and pressure off your teacher, and gently place it on making sure your needs are met from a handful of people in your life, people who are closer or know you better. In doing so, you might notice you are less affected by your teacher connecting with others.
Your needs are important, and anyone who offers their time to meet them - whether it is your teacher or another friend - is offering a real gift.
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