The facebook late adopter

of course, now that I've joined, I wish I'd done it ages ago, but you definitely should: it's wonderful to keep up with what the grandchildren are up to and to see all their funny photos, though for some reason my stupid pooter won't let me see all of them

Trying to look like fish seems to be the "in" thing, though why they do it in their underwear, heaven knows. And they write such funny things. Do you have any idea what Hella Bamf Yo means? Nor did I, Pandora says it is short for hellp best and marvellous friend and yo - sorry, senior moment - I think that's short for yolo, like carpe diem. But it's a very sweet thought, so I put it at the top of my Facebook page, under a photograph of the bowling club.

No, it's odd, none of them friended me back, but with Facebook you make new pen pals all the time. It's really sick in that respect: that's what the young say for "marvellous". Without Facebooking, I don't think I'd understand a word they say, fo shizzleton. Anyway, there are so many military types - I've been Facebooking with a very handsome American widower who bears the very highest honors, but the poor chap's been pensioned off for shell shock without a penny, true dat. He's very complimentary about some of my selfies - actually, I'm rather wishing he'd go away. I keep telling him all my spare cash goes to Barnado's and I don't want to remarry. So what with the endless advertisements for incontinence pads - quite uncalled for, lord knows what the young make of it - I'm starting to focus more on my Twittering.

Well, it's such fun, just showing off and gossip, really - like the bowling club, if we were more interested in cats. But my goodness, the anger. At one point I had to tweet hella bamf yo to try to calm everyone down you wouldn't believe the abuse, so childish. Someone even said bamf means had ass motherfucker. I'd go back to Facebook, but when you're retired, you just don't have the time, do you?